I’ve been so busy!
Okay no, I’m lying. I’ve just been lazy. And uninspired. So very uninspired. I guess you could call it blogger’s block. Sucks when it hits, doesn’t it?
But let’s get back to lazy. So I’m a lazy child. I hate doing household chores, but then again, who doesn’t?
I guess I don’t mind doing the dishes or mopping the floor or putting the clothes out to dry (especially ’cause of certain li’l midget niece who will pick up the clothes from the laundry basket and give them to you so you don’t have to bend all the way down – funny thing is she actually enjoys doing stuff like that – may she never grow up!). But how I hate dusting! And anything related to dusting. Sweeping the floor or whatever. My mom thinks my allergies are not real. REALLY MOM, REALLY?! How I have managed to live 21 years in a desert country is beyond me, but then again, we see more concrete here than actual sand so yeah.
And what about folding clothes? Seriously, why you got so many clothes, family?!
Got me thinking about the many excuses I have used over the years to skip doing chores. Here, have some useless information – ’cause we don’t have enough of that already.
New readers: I'm otherwise very mature, I swear.
#1. The Classic – “I’m sick!”
“Mom, I don’t feel so good.“, if said in the right tone and with the right level of puppy eyes, works every time. Works with annoying roommate who’s on a cleaning spree as well.
#2. The Rebel – “NO!”
Ah, the troublesome teenage years. “My life, my rules!” doesn’t work that well, does it? Usually ends up in “Go to your room and no dinner!”, I guess..if you’re white? (I don’t know; you tell me) and a “DO YOU WANT A TASTE OF MY ROLLING PIN?!” if you’re brown.
#3. “Sorry, I really want to help, but ah, all this work!” and then type away at your keyboard with the intensity of someone who’s working on her assignment that’s due the next day.
#4. Delegation of duties
See, this why I would make a
great shitty manager. I would just quietly go to my younger sister’s room and say, “Hey, mom’s asked you to vacuum the floor/do the dishes/clean the toilet(?)”. So gullible.
#5. “In a minute, I’ll get to it!”
Usually ends up in parent doing the work by themselves. Be prepared for “No one in this house helps me ever/ I have such ungrateful children.” and the like, though.
So there you have it! And Lord knows there are many more where that came from!
Hey hey! Don’t act all high and mighty and judge me – you know you’ve done it too!
But humour aside, I’m a dutiful daughter – most of the times – and I can almost hear my mom going ‘Pfft!’ when she reads this but mom, you know you love me! And I love you too!
Spill out your excuses people, I really am hoping to hear some zany ones!